Bad Luck and the Lady
by BlackJackSilver
Summary: Complete- Gibbs and Ana Maria must have trouble getting along, right? Why are they so darned peculiar? A short character study rated R for naughty language, implied violence. PG 13 might cover it, but just to be safe-


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I own nothing. I earn nothing. Disney and its affiliates deserve all credit and profit.  
  
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Bad Luck and the Lady -by BlackJackSilver  
  
About an hour after Jack handed the helm to Gibbs, with Tortuga looming on the horizon, Gibbs finds the nerve to approach Ana Maria, with what he's been wanting to say all day, when-  
  
"WHAT are you doin' hanging abou' like a BARNacle, you no good, shiftless, witless, excuse fer a seaman, SEWELL? I seen DECADES go past faster than you, ya lazy dog."  
  
"Aye Ana!" The lad smiles as if she just told him he gets a double share. He picks up the pace, nonetheless.  
  
"And WHAT are the REST of ya lookin at?"  
  
-and Gibbs knows Ana is right next to a good mood, which is as close as ever he's seen her get to one.  
  
"Ana, I badly need a word with ya."  
  
"-Well? -WHAT is it, man? I ain't HERE ta wait the day away with ya, ya DAFT old dogfish."  
  
"Ana, I know there ain't nothin you hate worse, than any of us expecting you to be a woman when it suits us, except maybe expecting that you can't be nothing else. It shames me to no end, to come to you, asking fer kindness, when you've had naught from me but suspicion that yed sink the Pearl deeper than a Jonah. You've no reason ta help me, nor can I promise a favor remembered'll turn me from my superstitious ways. I ask ya, cause I got no other choice in the matter. I'm drownin' Ana; and you got the only rope ta spare."  
  
Ana pulls the knife she sometimes uses for making such points, and brings her voice down to a dangerous hissing whisper,  
  
"If you THINK you'll ever get a piece of me, GIBBS, yer madder than Cap'n Mad Jack Sparra. I'll slit ya stem ta stern AND toss yer guts ta the sharks, man. THEN I'll leave the rest of ya ashore. Let the gulls fight over yer bones. So, STOP thinkin with yer prick, Gibbs."  
  
"Oh, nothin of the kind Ana," Gibbs says, eyes wide and hands firmly at the helm, "completely different favor I was wantin. Swear on all I hold dear."  
  
"TALK!"  
  
"This misunderstandin illustrates the problem I was wantin yer advice to help me solve."  
  
Though Ana's eyes still flash dangerously, she puts the knife in its sheath. Some of the rage in her shoulders slacks away. She holds her head high appraising him. Darn if Gibbs doesn't feel like the sprog that just cut the anchorline.  
  
"WHAT problem?"  
  
"Well, yuv only ta look at me. I'm not the young man I was once. Even when I was young and still had the looks that youth endows, I weren't much ta cast eyes on. Worse than that, I never had Jack's silver tongued way a chatting with a woman. Soon as I took a shine to one, might as well have been Cotton fer all the good me tongue would do me. More I liked em, the more my mouth dried up, till my tongue lay there like a dead fish stuck between the dock of my lips and the oceans of words that my head was tellin me ta say.  
  
That's why I started drinking, ya know. Me mates thought a bit of drink would help loosen me young useless tongue a bit. It did and all. Words just come a pourin forth, now, only they aren't careful chosen like, and all mean the opposite of what I yearn to say. The drink, too, makes me stumblin clumsy. You know the way. Ain't no state ta be in when yer dancin with a woman's heart in yer hands.  
  
So last time in, I met this woman in Tortuga, see. Not the frilly type in taverns, ya understand. Just a plain good woman workin in a shop. I tried ta talk about me problem with Jack. He's a good man- I know no better. I truly think he tried his best at good advice. What'd woo like love's elixir fer Jack, would work no better than a pint of stale piss for an ordinary man, even less fer a scuttled wreck like me. Yed think I would have sussed the same before I tried the tricks that Jack prescribed. Two black eyes, and me dear lady's boot to me groin, didn't hurt no worse than my broken heart, but made me see the truth of things, all the same."  
  
"So THAT'S what happened ta ya last time. Thought ye'd stumbled off the bloody CROW'S nest with that limp."  
  
"That kind a fall would a been a kindness in comparison."  
  
"So you want ME to talk fer ya, aye?"  
  
"Aye, Ana, if you can see yer way clear. It's not that I'm afraid to face her. I'd risk getting the same again, and do it gladly, if I thought I could make things right between us."  
  
"I'll DO it. Now shut up. KEEP yer mind on what yer doin."  
  
That night, at the Drownded Flounder, Gibbs looks past a few of the crew to find Ana at a back table, sitting alone with a tankard.  
  
"I don't know what lies ya told about me, but, oh Ana, I'd kiss ya if me heart didn't belong to another."  
  
"The LAST thing ye'd be doin. -Didn't tell lies about ya Gibbs. Told her the truth of ya, and a lie about m'self."  
  
"A lie- about you?"  
  
"About HOW I'm madly in love with ya. Begged her to break it off with ya, as all YOU ever talk about is HER. Yer great bloody fools, the both of ya." She tosses her knife so that it sticks in the tabletop between them. Ana leans over toward him. "So help me Gibbs, if you tell ANYone, I'll-"  
  
"I won't. A great favor you've done me, Ana."  
  
"Don't WASTE it, then! Get back ta the woman, ya dull idiot."  
  
Gibbs nods and leaves without another word. Ana sheaths her knife, grabs her tankard and props her boots on the table. When she is absolutely sure none of the crew is watching her, she smiles.  
  
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End file.
